half-marathon decision

So i've thought about it, and i have decided to walk the half-marathon. My mom and my sister will most likely be jogging/running the marathon. SO i may be doing it by myself!

If any of you are interested in walking with me, definitely feel free :) Your verbal and textual support is always appreciated and encouraged.

http://www.youraustinmarathon.com/

At this moment, what my current pace is-- i will be cutting it short to finish 13.1 miles in 4 hours. Even if i come in at right at 4 hours, I'll still be getting a Medal!!! How freaking excited, right?!?!

So over the next 21 weeks i'll be working on training, getting shape, increasing my pace-- along with finishing school, graduating, studying for NCLEX-PN, doing my 100 miles challenge for October and doing the HOT 100 challenge! And then there's also moving to Austin, packing, finding a place to live, and getting settled! WHOA BABY! There's a busy few months coming up! But i'm so excited. I feel that my heart is in the right place, and going in the right place and the right direction.

I also need to work on my Half-Marathon playlist for my ipod. Suggestions also recommended.

I am just so excited for this. Never in the past 7 years have i thought this is something i could do, and complete! This is huge. I have faith in myself, and i believe that this is something i can complete, and will do well. I know that i have what i need to get prepared and train for this race. What a gift to myself! I will wear that medal proudly for days following the Half-Marathon :)

stay tuned tomorrow, for HOT 100 update!

Ca C'est Bon!

Papa Red-- This one's for you!

I leave you with 2 thoughts ...

Carpe diem, quam minimum credula postero! (Seize the day, put no trust in tomorrow)

No day but today, forget regret or life is yours to miss! -- RENT

half marathon??!

Okay so input is appreciated...

So in August i had decided i was going to walk a half-marathon in Austin in February. Yes you heard right a half-marathon, that is 13.1 miles. WHOA! I had barely been doing 13.1 miles of exercise in a week, but over the last 3 weeks i've been exercising 3-4 times a week and i feel great.

I've been walking, doing the elliptical, and riding the stationary bike. Some days all 3, some days just one. And i've been doing some strength training like 3 days a week. I don't want to do too much lifting, since muscle weighs more than fat, and more muscle will decrease the amount of weight i will lose for my weigh-ins. I have a friend who is a personal trainer, who set me up with a program to exercise 4-5 times/week.

So yesterday i told a guy friend that i was going to do it, and he questions me. Saying something you know that's 12 miles right, and i said NO! It's 13.1! He goes, well can you do that?! I Said YES! of course i can.

Now, since yesterday i've been thinking about it. That's 13.1 MILES! I'm just concerned with completing it, in the allotted time. Since i'm walking the half-marathon, i have 4 hours to complete the half-marathon. I think that is totally do-able. Right now walking on the treadmill or outside on the track- it takes 20ish minutes to walk 1.25 minutes- So to do 13.1 miles at my current pace would take somewhere around close to 3 hours.

I REALLY wanted to do the half-marathon, it seems like a great goal. But is the goal too much for me right now, is the goal too big to attain?!

Thoughts on: doing a half-marathon for the first time? Should i do the 5k instead? How else should i be preparing to walk the half-marathon!?!

Any input is greatly appreciated.

Blog Award :) and fitblog #2

So while i'm watching Glee and waiting for FitBlog! I was looking at some blogs, and found out that i was given an award :)

this is my FIRST AWARD! This is so exciting, and i am so excited!

The award was given from Jessica over at Rotund Revolution. So Thank You jess!

With this award, comes three requirements!

1. Thank the person who gave it to you. Jessica, you totally made my day! I'm glad we're blogging friends, and i'm glad we found each other. (cheesy yes, but true). I feel like a real blogger with my first award :)

2. Sum up your blog philosophy in five words. Five words. Only five words, goodness: I WILL NOT GIVE UP!

3. Pay it forward by nominate ten more awesome bloggers.

1. Melissa @ Journey to Marvelous

2. Carly @ Swim Run Om

3. Emmie @ Skinnyemmie

4. Karen @ Waisting Time

5. Blubeari @ Shrinking Blubeari

6. Jessica @ 266NeverAgain

7. Emily @ Emilys Inner Skinny

8. Kenz @ All The Weigh

9. Tiff @ Project 365

10. Pippa @ Pippa's Porch

Also, tonight was my 2nd fitblog session, and i absolutely love it! Here's a link for anyone not involved to check it out -- http://katywidrick.com/fitblogchat

oh mondays...

SO i'm tired exhausted, and cranky. I just want to eattttttt. But i'm not going to. I'm not going to. I'm not going to. I'm not going to.

If i say it enough, hopefully it will eventually go in!

Even though today's weather is absolutely BEAUTIFUL, i'm stressed out.

I can't wait for my sister's wedding to be over with, and for my stress and anxiety level to go down for a few weeks!!!

And i did 40 minutes of cardio/weights inside, then went walk 1.25 miles outside!

Yay.

Now i seriously need to start training for walking the half-marathon in April. I've got like 4 months and 3 weeks! Yowza.

things are getting there

firstly: a quote ...

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us, it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we’re liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
- Nelson Mandela

Secondly, i went grocery shopping tonight and i bought some life saver gummies things, and i was oh i'll just have a few while i was football/moving (ugggh emotional eating) and so i did. After a few, i felt sick to my stomach! So i stopped eating and threw them away. Sad, that i wasted my money on those, but so happy that i stopped myself before i ate the whole bag. I normally don't keep sweet, chips, chocolate, etc in my house anymore because i just don't have the strength or self-control to not eat those things. They are just too tempting.

Thoughts from you awesome people about self-control, temptations when it comes to eating?!

some people...

Just a quick something:

1) I LOVE FOOTBALL!

2) I should never go on a first date to a football game. I would probably scare the crapppp out of my date. But if he didn't leave, then i knew he would be a keeper :)

3) SOME people are so just down awful rude, mean, and hurtful. I was walking into the stadium for the football game with my friend, and there was this older lady he was quite a bit larger than I was. Nearby there were 2 college guys, obviously drunk, who were snickering at her and laughing at her. I felt so incredibly bad for her. It hurt me, that some people think in order to be cool they have to make fun of other people. I never really understood that. I guess because i had been made fun of since i was a little girl. Some people i just want to hit them with a piece of wood, but i guess it's a good thing that i don't.

4) I did good at the football game... i had Fajitas for lunch when we were tailgating, 1 shiner book, PLENTY of water, only a few chips like 5 or 6, and no stadium food! Yayyyy accomplishment for avoiding concession stand food :)

good night, lovely blogsphere.

much love.

CLOTHES!

Happy Saturday blogsphere :)

So this morning i'm trying to figure out what i'm wearing to a football game, and i had pulled a few shirts out of my closet because i wasn't sure what was gonna fit.


So the first shirt i tried on ....... FIT and beautifully! It's a tshirt and a LARGE! This is fabulous, and the shirt is comfortable it's not tight. that is a beautiful thing, and my shorts and now 2 sizes smaller than what i was in April when i started my weight loss journey! This is such a beautiful thing, and a beautiful moment for me!

I can't wait for the rest of the clothes that are in boxes in my closet to fit!

Happy Saturday!

MUCH LOVE.

P.S. --> WHO DAT!

Must watch video!!

I found this amazing video, just watch it! It's only 5 minutes!

And i decided someday i'm going to do an Ironman :)

ramblings, HOT 100 challenge!!!

I feel like i need to sound all smart in the blogging world, but that's not what i want to do or had in mind to do with this blog. I wanted to use the blog for a venting of sorts of my mind and heart, and my weight loss and struggles with food, and if i can help other people along the way, then so be it!

And i definitely love the TOM, water retention, and how i don't lose much weight when i'm on my period. It's just absolutely wonderful. NOT!

I've worked out 3 days this week, and tomorrow will be 4! How exciting. Go me! I was always told how exercising, is good for my and will help bring down my stress level, and will help to not make me want to eat so much... and boy it is so true! What a beautiful thing. I really do feel better about myself.

I think having a goal to work towards- wanting to be healthier, being able to sit comfortably in airplane, looking at yourself in the mirror and not wanting to gag or turn away; it's a beautiful thing. It makes weight loss and all the hard work, more attainable. Making those short term goals, and things to reach work and work for not as painful.

I have like 3 or 4 boxes of clothes in my closet, i really can't wait to be able to wear those- and to try some of those clothes on that i haven't worn in months and years, and for the clothes to fit! i'm just so excited for this new me that i'm finding that will come to be. I am so excited to be losing weight finally, and doing this for me, and not because anyone else wants me to. I'm excited to lose the weight, and for it never to be found again!!!

I graduate from LPN school in 103 days! oh my word. That is so exciting and so scary! I'm gonna be a big girl again and getting out into the real word. I CAN NOT wait to play ultimate frisbee again some day.


that's all for now folks, keep it real.

PS- A challenged was posted by South Beach Steve, and i can not turn down a good challenge :) So here goes! You can read more about it, here!


The challenge officially started Yesterday, September 23rd, but we have until October 1st to post our information. The challenge will require weekly posting and updates. Part of the challenge, we have to set 3 goals to achieve for the 100 days, definitely my least favorite part.

1) I definitely will be sleeping more- It helps with weight loss, energy, and mood :)
2) I WILL exercise 4-5 times a week, and doing some weights too.
3) Continue to have good foods prepared and cooked, so i'm not tempted to stop for junk food and fast food after clinicals, school, working out, etc.
4) Be way more committed to Ideal Protein, follow the plan exactly, to maximize my weight loss!

This really is exciting! I'm so pumped for these next 98 days :) LET'S DO THIS!!! WE CAN DO THIS!!! Let's change America and the world, one healthier person at a time!

Inspirational Weight Loss Quotes

Quotes from Christina, and i thought i'd share them!



Inspirational Weight Loss Quotes
I thought I would just list some motivational quotes that may help some of us get through the rough times.

David Viscott
You must begin to think of yourself as becoming the person you want to be.

Eleanor Roosevelt
You must do the thing you think you cannot do.

Ralph Marston
Your goals, minus your doubts, equal your reality.

George S. Patton
You're never beaten until you admit it.

Lee Iacocca
You've got to say, I think that if I keep working at this and want it badly enough I can have it. It's called perseverance.

Unknown Author
You don't drown by falling in the water. You drown by staying there.

Vince Lombardi
It's not whether you get knocked down; it's whether you get up.

Thomas A. Edison
Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.

Thomas Jefferson
The sovereign invigorator of the body is exercise, and of all the exercises walking is the best.

Carl Sandburg
The time for action is now. It's never too late to do something.

Harriet Beecher Stowe
When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, till it seems as though you could not hold on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.

Plato
The first and the best victory is to conquer self.

Vincent Lombardi
The good Lord gave you a body that can stand most anything. It's your mind you have to convince.

Winston Churchill
Never, never, never, never give up.

Fit Blog #1

Well tonight i participated in my first FitBlog, hosted by twitter chat. It's really quite amazing. Answering questions, and getting connected with all kinds of different people who love and are interested in health, weight loss, fitness, exercise.

Such a beautiful thing... I was sooo cranky, crampy, crappy, and exhausted and stressed out.

Having people who understand what i'm going through, and what i'm dealing with REALLY HELPED OUT. And it helped me out to have something to do, and not emotionally eat myself crazy after i ate dinner. I also didn't eat emotionally tonight, i suppose, because i know that i'm weighing in tomorrow, and i totally don't want to wreck the work i've done this week!!

This blogging this is really great :) And a great source of venting and frustration for me :)

See you next week, fit blog-ers!

Friend Makin Monday

So Kenz at All The Weigh is hosting another Friend Making Monday ... great idea! Check it out :)

Health and Body Image

1) If you could magically change one thing about your body, what would it be? Well, my weight loss will come with time and commitment and i'm okay. I really wish the acne fairy, would take away the blimishes on my face. Silly PCOS!

2) What is your best physical feature? Easiest answer ... My beautiful, curly hair :)


3) Do you weigh yourself daily? Hourly? Weekly? Bi-weekly? Never? I weigh-in once a week on Wednesdays. I would almost be obsessive if i weighed more than once a week.

4) Do you workout regularly? If so, how does if affect you from day to day? I really hadn't been the last 2 months, but i rejoined the gym last week, and i worked out today and i feel good. I am also preparing and training to walk the Austin half-marathon in February, so i'm excited about that.

5) What is the healthiest thing you do for yourself on a regular basis? I drink water like my life depended on it. Since starting Ideal Protein in April, i RARELY drink coke or anything else.


6) If you could look like a celebrity, who would you choose to look like? I would love to say that I wouldn't want to look like one, but I'd be full of it. And i'm trying to be honest with myself ... but i can't think of anyone! ideas?

7) What do you do to make yourself feel pretty/handsome? I love getting dressed up head to toe.... make-up, pretty dresses and skirts, manicures and pedicures, fun heels :)

8) What are you most attracted to in the opposite sex? Gorgeous, beautiful eyes, kind, honest, funny, gentleman.

9) Have you ever avoided situations because you didn't want people to see your body shape? Oh definitely... i haven't been to the beach in over 2 years, and i don't go swimming in public because i don't feel comfortable being in a swimsuit in public... but that will be changing soon :)


10) How do you feel about your overall appearance? Hmmm, I definitely feel better than i did 4.5 months ago, which is a great thing. I still have a lot of work to do though, but one day at a time, and one step at a time.


So feel free to make a friend, and answer the questions for yourself!!!

showers, parties, gatherings

So, so far my ability to avoid snacking like a crazy person at parties, showers, gatherings, etc.

I don't know what it is. Before i've gone to parties, showers since i started this new path, i've eaten a good lunch or dinner before going too. It's like i see all these foods that i don't eat now, and i can't help myself but just to eat, eat, eat. I feel like my stomach thinks it's never going to be able to eat food again.

It's really aggravating for me, and frustrating not to mention, stupid. UGGGH!

Any idea/thoughts peoples?

:)

things i'm looking forward to...

Lately i'm my head i've been thinking about all the things i'm looking forward to when i lose the weight, and i am back to the the healthy / fit / real me. I often have difficulty committing to something, and sticking with it the entire time. So i thought it might be best to write it down or type it out rather, so i can visualize what i want to help me to stay committed.

1) excited about my stomach being gone
2) looking forward to being able to wear the dresses and skirts that i want to and not be nervous about what i look like in them
3) having less total area to shave, pahahaha.
4) having people turn their heads when i walk down the street, because i'm just gorgeous, and they don't even recognize me.
5) not being the largest person in our family photos
6) not looking like a big round giant next to my friends in photos.
7) being able to shop in the normal stores, and NEVER AGAIN will i shop in Lane Bryant or the plus size sections!!!!!!
8) Being able to share clothes with my friends, mom, and sister!
9) Being finally happy with who i am, and really being able to love myself despite my faults.
10) Not being angry at myself for what i look like.

Just some things to share. What are YOU looking forward to, to being healthy / fit / lean and mean???

------------

P.S. Officially as of yesterday, i lost 10% of my body weight!!! SO INCREDIBLY EXCITING!
I decided today, that since the program i'm on doesn't give us any rewards or anything like Weight Watchers does, i'm going to make a bookmark or something to put stickers on it for every 5 pounds i lose as a reminder, of how great i'm doing and to keep me moving and motivated!!!

L&D

So today for clinicals, i was in Labor & Delivery. I was given the opportunity to go in for a C-Section, and a Vaginal Birth! WOW, what an amazing experience. I was able to witness 2 babies come into this world. It was such a beautiful and amazing experience.

I really think after i work as an LPN for a while, i want to go back to school for my RN, and then someday work in Labor and Delivery. In the meantime, i could get a job as an LPN in Wellbaby nursery or postpartum.

wacky weigh-in wednesday

So i weighed in this morning, i lost 2.5 pounds for this week, and 1.5 inches. I definitely felt like i lost more like 3-4 pounds, but that's okay. A loss, is a loss. I'll take what i can lose :)

And i got signed up for another month at the gym, so i'll be going tomorrow for Zumba, that should be interesting for sure.

It's been a long time coming...

So i've been gaining weight increasingly for the past 6-7 years, excluding the time period in 2006 where i lost 30 pounds. I was really encouraged in 2006 from the death of my grandpa, i wanted to lose the weight for him, mostly. I think really wanting to be fit and lose weight never worked out before because it was not something i really wanted. I never wanted to really work hard, and do the work it took to lose weight and work hard and be successful at it.

I probably had been trying to figure out some sort of diet since i was 14 or 15, because my mom wanted me to, or my dad wanted me to, or i was needed to lose weight while i was swimming competitively. It's been too long. And i'd been emotionally eating, and sneaking food around the house, and trying to hide it from other people, since 3rd or 4th grade. That is really too long to dealing with this. I know that sometimes it can be a lifetime battle, and i'm sure it probably will be- but i would really love to get it under control. I would love to develop some good ways to cope with my emotions, instead of stuffing my face with food.

I really think that it took my best friend telling me she was concerned about me, my health, my life, and that she did not want me to die young because of my weight. It took me that realization that i was at the bottom and the only way i could go was up. It took me feeling like i ran into a brick wall going 100 mph, to actually do something different and really change my life, my eating habits, my sedentary lifestyle. It really has to be different, must be different, and will be different this time.

I know that we will gain weight and lose weight at times, but never ever ever will i be as big as i was this time. I won't let it happen, i just won't.

I think that getting out of Louisiana, and moving to Texas where there are more things to do to be active, most things to do outside, and and everything isn't centered around activities involved with the sweet southern cooking that is South Louisiana. I think having this push of moving to a new city, with a new start, with meeting new people, making new friends, and having new opportunities is exactly what i need to really change me, for the better.

I love myself, i know that for sure. But i am so sick and tired of being the emotional eater, i'm so tired of being FAT. I can't wait until the day when i'll be okay with taking full-length pictures, and not just the face pictures.


enough for now, see you on the other side.

-XOXO

stress-free ideas

So my friend @ http://foodmydrugofchoice.blogspot.com wrote today about things to do to stay out of the kitchen and staying away from emotionally eating.

So here is my list:
1) singing
2) dancing
3) playing outside
4) trying to figure out how to play the guitar
5) reading a good book
6) take a nap
7) visit my mom or grandparents
8) actually studying, and not procrastinating
9) write a letter to a friend
10) clean to go through some of my things to organize


what is your list of stress-free to-do's?


Taking one step at a time is slow and monotonous but i it will make me, the best me possible.

-XOXO

inspiring quote of the day

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure about you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
-Nelson Mandela

Don't hate me because I'm ...

Check out Karen @ www.waistingtimeblog.com

She wrote something great called "Don't hate me because I'm..."

thin. Or fat. Or tall. Or petite. Or blond. Or… any other physical attribute.

Prejudice, based on someone’s appearance, is an interesting thing. Let’s start with weight prejudice. Studies show that there is clear bias against very overweight people. And I am sure some of you have experienced it. The reaction can range from just a sideways look when you put cookies in your grocery cart, to a request for a new seat when next to you on an airplane, to not hiring you for a job. But weight bias goes the other way too. Against thin people. Sometimes we look at them and hate them for being what we aren’t. We curse the genetic lottery that surely graced them with the fast metabolism that we lack. Or we assume they can’t have any issues with food or struggles in life.

I’m short. Does this mean I must have a Napoleon complex? Tall people earn more money, are more likely to advance in the workplace, and are more likely to become President of the US! And everyone assumes that just because you’re tall you must play basketball.

Do you look at a blond woman and think she has more fun? Or that she is as dumb as the classic jokes? I’m a redhead… I can’t tell you how many times people have commented that I must have a fiery temper. I DO NOT! (Kidding.) Several famous actresses have dyed their hair for roles – some go blond to get the sexy girl parts; some go brunette to get the serious girl parts. Does Hollywood have it right that we can’t see past hair color to the woman inside?

And what about our biases based on how attractive (or unattractive ) a person is. Many books are written on the subject of attractive people getting more in life. Not just more money and better jobs, but even better service in a store.

Have you ever looked at someone and known you wouldn’t like her just because of her appearance? Was she too pretty, too sloppy, too expensively dressed, too made up? Did you get to know her anyways? I’ll be the first to admit that sometimes I look at someone and make a judgment. Especially if she is beautiful and looks like she would have snubbed me in high school – a former-cheerleader with her designer jeans and purse, fabulous shoes, perfectly coiffed hair, gleaming white teeth in a tan face that never knew a pimple; perfect from head to toe. But some of my best friends wouldn’t have passed my initial “first impression” bias test so I am learning to suspend judgment.

So please don’t hate me when I’m skinny. Or stop reading. Overweight or at goal, fat or thin – don’t think we can’t relate and share experiences because we look different. The outside package doesn’t change the person on the inside. But I sure am looking forward to the outer change:)

good thoughts from Waisting Time

Here is a post i found from Karen @ waistingtimeblog.com - She has some great things to say!

“Don't Hate Me Because I'm…”

thin. Or fat. Or tall. Or petite. Or blond. Or… any other physical attribute.

Prejudice, based on someone’s appearance, is an interesting thing. Let’s start with weight prejudice. Studies show that there is clear bias against very overweight people. And I am sure some of you have experienced it. The reaction can range from just a sideways look when you put cookies in your grocery cart, to a request for a new seat when next to you on an airplane, to not hiring you for a job. But weight bias goes the other way too. Against thin people. Sometimes we look at them and hate them for being what we aren’t. We curse the genetic lottery that surely graced them with the fast metabolism that we lack. Or we assume they can’t have any issues with food or struggles in life.

I’m short. Does this mean I must have a Napoleon complex? Tall people earn more money, are more likely to advance in the workplace, and are more likely to become President of the US! And everyone assumes that just because you’re tall you must play basketball.

Do you look at a blond woman and think she has more fun? Or that she is as dumb as the classic jokes? I’m a redhead… I can’t tell you how many times people have commented that I must have a fiery temper. I DO NOT! (Kidding.) Several famous actresses have dyed their hair for roles – some go blond to get the sexy girl parts; some go brunette to get the serious girl parts. Does Hollywood have it right that we can’t see past hair color to the woman inside?

And what about our biases based on how attractive (or unattractive ) a person is. Many books are written on the subject of attractive people getting more in life. Not just more money and better jobs, but even better service in a store.

Have you ever looked at someone and known you wouldn’t like her just because of her appearance? Was she too pretty, too sloppy, too expensively dressed, too made up? Did you get to know her anyways? I’ll be the first to admit that sometimes I look at someone and make a judgment. Especially if she is beautiful and looks like she would have snubbed me in high school – a former-cheerleader with her designer jeans and purse, fabulous shoes, perfectly coiffed hair, gleaming white teeth in a tan face that never knew a pimple; perfect from head to toe. But some of my best friends wouldn’t have passed my initial “first impression” bias test so I am learning to suspend judgment.

So please don’t hate me when I’m skinny. Or stop reading. Overweight or at goal, fat or thin – don’t think we can’t relate and share experiences because we look different. The outside package doesn’t change the person on the inside. But I sure am looking forward to the outer change:)

weigh in this week

so i did really great since last thursday and this week.

weigh-in this week: -7 pounds

only 107 pounds left to lose :)

I'm feeling great, and this is something that i need to do, and want to do! I want to better myself, better my health, and better my image of myself.

I want to be who i want to be, when i have my new start in Austin!
I am on my way to who i believe God wants me to be, and who i've always, deep down, wanted to be :)

ONE DAY AT A TIME!

i heart this quote before i can't remember from who though .... "If you want to get what you've never gotten before, you have to do what you've never done before!"

whoa. major realizations this weekend.

So i'm moving to Austin in 5 months or there abouts, and i'm soooo excited.
New friends, new adventures, new city to figure out, new people to love where they're at.

I need to work on somethings myself. I'd really been slacking on my weight loss the last month, school has been a majorrrrr stressor, and will continue to be until i pass NCLEX-PN and get a job! So i've got to learn to handle my emotions and stress in the RIGHT WAY. But this weekend in Austin, was a major realization for me in several ways.

I'm tired of being the fat sister, i'm tired of having to shop in the fat people store, i'm tired of feeling like people are staring at me, and i'm just plain tired of being lazy, and not having any energy to do anything, and i'm tired of being cranky when i'm with my family, due to their wanting to do things, and me wanting to be lazy, eat, or sleep. ENOUGH. I've had enough of this! And whoa that was a seriously awesome run-on sentence :)

So back to commitment, and asking God for the grace and courage each day to persevere, and to not stuff my face emotionally. So far the last 2 days since i've been home have been great. I normally when i get home sit in the living room and veg out, but the last 2 days even when i walk through the living room, i feel tempted to eat my face off, so i am doing my best to avoid that temptation, and staying away from the living room / kitchen as much as possible!

I'll be moving to a city, and i want to have a fresh start. I want to be who God created me to be, and not just some lazy person. I'm ready to be free, and loving, and happy and genuine about it, and not just faking it. Okay so i don't fake it normally, but lately i've just been way stressed out, and have not wanted to hangout or go anywhere. Not cool. Not me.

As always, frequent encouragement is greatly appreciated :)