:)

things i'm looking forward to...

Lately i'm my head i've been thinking about all the things i'm looking forward to when i lose the weight, and i am back to the the healthy / fit / real me. I often have difficulty committing to something, and sticking with it the entire time. So i thought it might be best to write it down or type it out rather, so i can visualize what i want to help me to stay committed.

1) excited about my stomach being gone
2) looking forward to being able to wear the dresses and skirts that i want to and not be nervous about what i look like in them
3) having less total area to shave, pahahaha.
4) having people turn their heads when i walk down the street, because i'm just gorgeous, and they don't even recognize me.
5) not being the largest person in our family photos
6) not looking like a big round giant next to my friends in photos.
7) being able to shop in the normal stores, and NEVER AGAIN will i shop in Lane Bryant or the plus size sections!!!!!!
8) Being able to share clothes with my friends, mom, and sister!
9) Being finally happy with who i am, and really being able to love myself despite my faults.
10) Not being angry at myself for what i look like.

Just some things to share. What are YOU looking forward to, to being healthy / fit / lean and mean???

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P.S. Officially as of yesterday, i lost 10% of my body weight!!! SO INCREDIBLY EXCITING!
I decided today, that since the program i'm on doesn't give us any rewards or anything like Weight Watchers does, i'm going to make a bookmark or something to put stickers on it for every 5 pounds i lose as a reminder, of how great i'm doing and to keep me moving and motivated!!!

L&D

So today for clinicals, i was in Labor & Delivery. I was given the opportunity to go in for a C-Section, and a Vaginal Birth! WOW, what an amazing experience. I was able to witness 2 babies come into this world. It was such a beautiful and amazing experience.

I really think after i work as an LPN for a while, i want to go back to school for my RN, and then someday work in Labor and Delivery. In the meantime, i could get a job as an LPN in Wellbaby nursery or postpartum.

wacky weigh-in wednesday

So i weighed in this morning, i lost 2.5 pounds for this week, and 1.5 inches. I definitely felt like i lost more like 3-4 pounds, but that's okay. A loss, is a loss. I'll take what i can lose :)

And i got signed up for another month at the gym, so i'll be going tomorrow for Zumba, that should be interesting for sure.

It's been a long time coming...

So i've been gaining weight increasingly for the past 6-7 years, excluding the time period in 2006 where i lost 30 pounds. I was really encouraged in 2006 from the death of my grandpa, i wanted to lose the weight for him, mostly. I think really wanting to be fit and lose weight never worked out before because it was not something i really wanted. I never wanted to really work hard, and do the work it took to lose weight and work hard and be successful at it.

I probably had been trying to figure out some sort of diet since i was 14 or 15, because my mom wanted me to, or my dad wanted me to, or i was needed to lose weight while i was swimming competitively. It's been too long. And i'd been emotionally eating, and sneaking food around the house, and trying to hide it from other people, since 3rd or 4th grade. That is really too long to dealing with this. I know that sometimes it can be a lifetime battle, and i'm sure it probably will be- but i would really love to get it under control. I would love to develop some good ways to cope with my emotions, instead of stuffing my face with food.

I really think that it took my best friend telling me she was concerned about me, my health, my life, and that she did not want me to die young because of my weight. It took me that realization that i was at the bottom and the only way i could go was up. It took me feeling like i ran into a brick wall going 100 mph, to actually do something different and really change my life, my eating habits, my sedentary lifestyle. It really has to be different, must be different, and will be different this time.

I know that we will gain weight and lose weight at times, but never ever ever will i be as big as i was this time. I won't let it happen, i just won't.

I think that getting out of Louisiana, and moving to Texas where there are more things to do to be active, most things to do outside, and and everything isn't centered around activities involved with the sweet southern cooking that is South Louisiana. I think having this push of moving to a new city, with a new start, with meeting new people, making new friends, and having new opportunities is exactly what i need to really change me, for the better.

I love myself, i know that for sure. But i am so sick and tired of being the emotional eater, i'm so tired of being FAT. I can't wait until the day when i'll be okay with taking full-length pictures, and not just the face pictures.


enough for now, see you on the other side.

-XOXO

stress-free ideas

So my friend @ http://foodmydrugofchoice.blogspot.com wrote today about things to do to stay out of the kitchen and staying away from emotionally eating.

So here is my list:
1) singing
2) dancing
3) playing outside
4) trying to figure out how to play the guitar
5) reading a good book
6) take a nap
7) visit my mom or grandparents
8) actually studying, and not procrastinating
9) write a letter to a friend
10) clean to go through some of my things to organize


what is your list of stress-free to-do's?


Taking one step at a time is slow and monotonous but i it will make me, the best me possible.

-XOXO

inspiring quote of the day

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure about you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
-Nelson Mandela