missing you.

so tonight i saw Nights in Rodanthe with randi, her mom, and her great aunt. it's a movie based off of a book of the same title by Nicholas Sparks.

So Good!!! i haven't cried that much in a movie in almost a year since P.S. I Love You.

God seems to reveal things to me in movies sometimes. It is quite interesting i find.

At the end of the movie, the mother character tells the daughter to hold out for a love that will make you a better person than you already are. I feel that is what God is trying to tell me lately.

He knows that i am tired of waiting for the so called "one". He knows that my wait and perserverance in virtue of chastity has not been for nothing.
He knows that i want to love someone without limits, and i want to love someone so much and make them better than they already are.

He knows i am lonely. He knows i get depressed sometimes from being lonely. I just need to lean on God when i do get lonely. He alone can fill my heart.

Almost i had some feeling in my heart of what my shay went through when papa red died. Maybe not exactly what it was like for her, but i know that she is lonely like i am. and she misses him too.

Also, i felt that i understood what it was like for my dad to lose his father at some level. That he died and was sick and as a doctor could not do anything to save him. i love my father for that. It really did mean something to me to see my dad cry and for me to know that he is not all mighty. We all have our weaknesses. Not one of us is perfect, no matter what we may think.

papa red i miss you and i love you. i want to see you face and hear your laugh and hear your stories. i can not wait until we meet again in Heaven.